如下：1、爆笑英语小笑话1：Who are stupid？谁蠢？A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying “Everyone who thinks you’re stupid stand up!”Little Johnny then stood up.The teacher said “Do you think you’re stupid Johnny?”“No ma’am but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”一个老师在对学生们讲心理学，“谁认为自己蠢就站起来？”她一开始就说。
小约翰尼站了起来。
“你认为你很蠢吗，小约翰尼？”老师问。
“不是的，老师，我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。
”2、爆笑英语小笑话2：A great man一名伟人Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a greatman if he were still alive today?Student: Of course. He must be a great man for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.老师：如果莎士比亚还活着，他会是一名伟人吗？学生：当然。
因为到目前为止，还没有人活到400多岁。
3、爆笑英语小笑话3：Two Cute dogsA man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper “Doesyour dog bite?”The shopkeeper says “No my dog does not bite.”The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. “Ouch” he says “I thought you said your dog does not bite!”The shopkeeper replies “That is not my dog.”一个男人走进了一家商店，看到了一个可爱的小狗，于是他问店主：“你的狗咬人吗？”店主说：“不，我的狗不咬人。
”这个男人就试图抚摸狗，然后狗咬了他。
“哎呀”他说：“我还以为你说你的狗不咬人呢！”店主和他说：“那不是我的狗。
”4、爆笑英语小笑话4：Four gold teeth四颗金牙6.Policeman: Why didn’t you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?Man: If I had opened my mouth they’d have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢？男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。
那就更糟了。
5、爆笑英语小笑话5：Barking dogs don’t bite吠狗不咬人The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.“It’s all right” said a gentleman “don’t be afraid. Don’t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don’t bite?”“Ah yes” answered the little girl. “I know the proverb but does the dog know the proverb too?”一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。
’”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”。
冷笑话作为一种新兴的语言现象，越来越受到大家的关注，尤其在网路、杂志、微博、电影上十分盛行。
冷笑话不同于一般的笑话，以其独特的制笑机制，能瞬间制造出一种特殊氛围。
我精心收集了，供大家欣赏学习! ：Farmer'
s Bull Farmer: I'
ve got a bull that'
s right off it duties. It'
s got to service 300 cows and all it wants to do is eat. Vet: Give it one of these little pills in its feed and stand back. So 2 weeks later the farmer es back to the vet: Farmer: WOW, what a pill! I gave the pill to the bull like you said and POW! It jumped over the gate, ran down the lane and *** ed 70 cows in 30 minutes. Vet: So, what'
s the problem - why have you e back? Farmer: Well, I was wondering, I am meeting this 18-year-old tonight - could you give me one of those tablets? I'
m not as young as I was. Vet: Oh, no! Sorry, it'
s too strong but I will give you a quarter of a pill. So the farmer takes the pill and goes off to prepare for his date. Several days later, the farmer goes back to the Vet. Farmer: Hello, Vet. Wonderful. 40 Times. Vet: So, why have you e back? Farmer: Ah! I need something for my wrist - she never showed up! ：Farmer'
s Daughter There was a men who is lost in a forest during a storm. He came to a house and knocked on the door. A farmer came out and asked, "
what the hell do you want?"
The man asked, "
Could I spend a night here?"
"
Sure, but you can'
t touch my daughter."
So the man was sleeping that night, when the daughter came in. And that night, they did it. The next night, they did it, too. The next night, they did it, again. Until one night, the daughter said to the man, "
I am tired of doing it in your room."
So the man went to the daughter'
s room and did it. The next night, they did it The next night, they did it, too The next night, they did it again. They have done it in every single room in the house EXECPT the father'
s room. So one night they decided to go to the father'
s room and do it. When they went in, the father has fallen deep into sleep. The man asked, "
what the hell is that hairy thing in his bed?"
The daughter said, "
it'
s his hairy ass"
So the man and the daughter were doing it in his room for 2 weeks and they loved it. But unfortunatly, one day, the father came to the man and go, "
we need to talk."
"
What, I didn'
t have sex with your daughter!"
"
I will tell you the truth, I don'
t care if you have sex with my daughter anymore, just don'
t use my hairy ass as a score board!"
：Rooster An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens. The current rooster was still doing an okay job, but he was getting on in years. And the farmer figured getting a new rooster couldn'
t hurt anything. So he buys a young cock from the local rooster emporium, and turns him loose in the barnyard. Well, the old rooster sees the young one strutting around and he gets a little worried. '
So, they'
re trying to replace me, thinks the old rooster. I'
ve got to do something about this.'
He walks up to the new bird and says, "
So you'
re the new stud in town? I bet you really think you'
re hot stuff, don'
t you? Well, I'
m not ready for the chopping block yet. I'
ll bet I'
m still the better bird. And to prove it, I challenge you to a race around that hen house over there. We'
ll run around it ten times and whoever finish'
s first gets to have all the hens for himself."
Well, the young rooster was a proud sort, and he definitely thought he was more than a match for the old guy. "
You'
re on,"
said the young rooster. "
And since I know I'
m so great, I'
ll even give you a head start of half a lap. I'
ll still win easy,"
said the young rooster. So the two roosters go over to the hen house to start the race with all the hens gatheringaround to watch. The race begins and all the hens start cheering the roosters on. After the first lap, the old rooster is still maintaining his lead. After the second lap, the old guy'
s lead has slipped a little but he'
s still hanging in there. Unfortunately the old rooster'
s lead continues to slip each time around, and by the fifth lap he'
s just barely in front of the young rooster. By now the farmer has heard all the motion. He runs into the house, gets his shotgun, and runs out to the barnyard figuring a fox or something is after his chickens. When he gets there, he sees the two roosters running around the hen house, with the old rooster still slightly in the lead. He immediately takes his shotgun, aims, fires, and blows the young rooster away. As he walks away slowly, he says to himself . . . "
Damn, that'
s the third gay rooster I'
ve bought this month."
：Pigs A farmer was worried that none of his pigs were getting pregnant. He called a vet and asked what he should do if he wanted more pigs. The vet told him he should try artificial insemination. The farmer, not wanting to appear stupid, answered okay and hung up the phone. Unclear on what the vet meant by artificial insemination, the farmer decidedit must mean he had to impregnate the pigs himself, so he loaded all the pigs in his pickup and drove down to the woods and shagged them all. The next day he called the vet again, and asked how would he know if the pigs were pregnant. The vet told him they would be lying down rolling in the mud, but when he looked out the window not even one was lying down. So, he loaded them up in his pickup again and drove them to the woods and shagged them all again. To his di *** ay they were all standing the next morning. So, again he loads the pigs in his truck drives them to the woods and shags them for the third time. By the next morning the farmer is beat, so he asks his wife to hop out of bed and look out the window to see what the pigs are doing. She says "
hmmm - that'
s weird, they are all in the truck and one of them is blowing the horn"
. 。
These Are My Jeans! After going on a diet，a woman felt really good about herself----especially when she wasable to fit into a pair of jeans she had outgrown long ago. “Look，look.” she shouted while running downstairs to show her husband.“I can wearmy old jeans again.” Her husband looked at her for a long time，when said，“Honey，I love you，but theseare my jeans.” 那是我的裤子! 一个妇女在减肥一段时间后自我感觉特别好——特别是当她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔裤时。
她跑下楼冲她丈夫喊道：“快看，快看。
我又能穿上以前的裤子了。
”她丈夫看了她好一会儿，然后说：“亲爱的，我爱你。
但那是我的裤子。
笑话的英语：joke。
joke的释义：玩笑；
笑话；
笑柄。
读音：英[dʒ
ə
ʊ
k]、美[dʒ
ok]。
joke造句1、这个笑话太下流，不宜重复。
The joke is too rude to repeat.2、他们那些粗俗的笑话使她大为不快。
She was offended by the vulgarity of their jokes.3、他们听了他的笑话都一阵狂笑。
They all guffawed at his jokes.4、我设法在讲话中穿插了几个笑话。
I managed to slip a few jokes into my speech.5、他笑话不断，把全桌人逗得直乐。
He kept the whole table entertained with his jokes.6、他把那些老掉牙的笑话又说了一遍。
He recycled all his old jokes.7、女孩子们让这笑话逗得咯咯笑。
The girls giggled at the joke.。
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