t Pick Up the Money on the Ground An economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them. The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother. Why not? If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up already. Everything that can be invented has been invented. 别捡地上的钱 一位经济学教授和一名学生正在大街上行走,这时他们看到前面的人行道上躺着一张20美元面值的钞票。
学生走过去准备捡,教授制止了他,告诉他别自寻烦恼。
“为什么不捡?” “假如那是一张真20美元钞票的话,早就有人捡走了。
” “该发明的都已经被发明出来了。
” 英语幽默小故事2 The Less You Know, the More Money You Make Theorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives. Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true: Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power. Postulate 2: Time is Money. As every engineer knows, Power=Work/
Time. Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we have Knowledge=Work/
Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/
Knowledge. Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done. Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make. 知识越少挣钱越多 定理:工程师和科学家永远应当比经济专家挣钱少。
下面是对该定理的一个严格的数学证明: 假设一:知识就是力量(Power)。
假设二:时间就是金钱。
每个工程师都知道:功率(Power)= 。
既然知识=力量,时间=金钱,我们有:知识= 。
求解金钱表达式,我们得到:金钱= 。
因此,当知识趋于零时,无论你做了多少功,金钱趋于无穷大。
结论:知识越少,你挣得的金钱就越多。
英语幽默小故事3 They Should Be Playing at Night A therapist, a priest and an economist go golfing. The group ahead of them is extremely slow, leading to some frustration among the three. Their complaints are overheard, and a man from the group ahead walks over to them. He introduces himself as an aide because the group of golfers he is with is blind! The aide thanks the three in appreciation for their patience for the blind golfers. The priest goes, "
Oh no, all my life I'
ve preached for all to be better to my fellow man and here I am complaining about the blind!"
The therapist says, "
I'
ve been trained my whole life to help others and here I am complaining about the blind, shame on me!"
The economist says, "
Oh no! They should be playing at night."
他们本该在晚上打球 神父、心理学家和经济学家三人结伴打高尔夫。
前面的一组打球进度极其缓慢,这让三人大为恼火。
他们开始抱怨,前面那组中的一人听到抱怨声后朝他们走了过来。
他 自我介绍 说是前面那组球手们的助手,因为那组球手都是盲人。
助手感谢他们三位耐心等待。
神父听后忙说:“哦,不会吧?我一辈子都在祈祷同胞们过上更美好的生活,而我却在这里抱怨这些盲人!”心理学家也赶紧说:“我一生的信条是帮助别人,可是我却在这里抱怨这些盲人,我真惭愧!”这时只听经济学家说:“哦,别这样!他们本该在晚上打球的。
” 英语幽默小故事4 A fellow pilot flying over the Midwest heard an air-traffic controller trying to contact an airliner for normal frequency change.“Flight 354,“said the controller,"
contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.“The request was repeated several times with no reply from the pilot.Finally,in exasperation the controller raised his voice."
Flight 354,Simon says contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.”The call was acknowledged with an emharrassed reply and prompt compliance. 一名飞行员在中西部上空听到地面指挥塔的指挥员在呼叫一民航调整其正常接收频率。
"
354航班,”指挥塔在呼叫,“请与堪萨斯市中心135.5频率联系。
”这一指令重复了几次之后,竟没得到任何回音。
最后,指挥塔的指挥员显然是被激怒了,他大声地锐:"
354航班,西蒙说速与135. 5预率联系。
”这一声显然奏效,只听对方慌忙地做了回答并迅速服从了指挥。
” 英语幽默小故事5 Even My Driver Can Answer that Question A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give a series of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For the task, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place . With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on the highly technical lectures. After several lectures, the driver commented to the economist, "
You know, I'
ve heard your lecture so much that I think I could deliver it myself."
The economist found this idea intriguing and decided to switch places with him at his next lecture. The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some one in the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had no idea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, and then replied, "
That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it."
甚至我的司机都能回答那个问题 一位著名的博弈论专家一获得克拉克奖便开始在东北部各个知名大学展开一系列讲座。
为了完成这项任务,他租了一辆车并雇了一名司机载着他到处赶场。
没有别的事可做的司机就坐在课堂里听专家那科技含量颇高的讲座。
几场讲座下来,司机对这位经济学家说:“我听了这么多次你的讲座,我觉得我自己也能讲了。
”经济学家觉得这个想法很有趣,于是决定下次作讲座时他们两个互换位置。
司机完美无瑕地完成了演讲。
可是当讲座结束后,听众中有人问了他一个技术含量相当高的问题,他不知如何开口回答。
司机沉思了一会,回答道:“这个问题太简单了,连我的司机都能回答。
” 英语幽默小故事相关 文章 : ★ 英语幽默小故事合集5篇 ★ 英语幽默小故事合集5篇 ★ 英语幽默小故事10篇 ★ 英语幽默小故事合集7篇 ★ 幽默英语小故事16篇笑死人的 ★ 英语幽默小故事10篇(2) ★ 英语幽默小故事汇总大全 ★ 英语幽默小故事四篇 ★ 英语小故事5分钟幽默 ★ 英语幽默小故事带翻译精选 var _hmt = _hmt || [];
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【 #能力训练# 导语】大多数小朋友都喜欢听故事,如果是英语故事的话,不但可以在听故事的同时学习英语知识。
下面是 分享的幽默风趣的英语小故事【十篇】。
欢迎阅读参考! 1.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇一 The miser and his gold Once upon a time there was a miser。
He hid his gold under a tree。
Every week he used to dig it up。
One night a robber stole all the gold。
When the miser came again, he found nothing but an empty hole。
He was surprised, and then burst into tears。
All the neighbors gathered around him。
He told them how he used to e and visit his gold。
"
Did you ever take any of it out?"
asked one of them。
"
No,"
he said, "
I only came to look at it。
"
"
Then e again and look at the hole,"
said the neighbor, "
it will be the same as looking at the gold。
"
守财奴 从前,有个守财奴将他的金块埋到一棵树下,每周他都去把他挖出来看看。
一天晚上,一个小偷挖走了所有的金块。
守财奴再来查看时,发现除了一个空洞什么都没有了。
守财奴便捶胸痛哭。
哭声引来了邻居他告诉他们那里原先有他的金块。
问明了原因后,一个邻居问:“你使用过这些金块吗?” “没用过,” 他说,“我只是时常来看看。
”“那么,以后再来看这个洞,”邻居说,“就像以前有金块时一样。
” 2.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇二 bat falling upon the ground was caught by a weasel, ofwhom he earnestly besought his life. the weasel refused,saying, that he was by nature the enemy of all birds. thebat assured him that he was not a bird, but a mouse, andthus saved his life. shortly afterwards the bat again fellon the ground, and was carght by another weasel, whom helikewise entreated not to eat him. the weasel said that hehad a special hostility to mice. the bat assured him thathe was not a mouse, but a bat;
and thus a second timeescaped.it is wise to turn circumstances to good account. 一只蝙蝠坠落到地面上来,被一只鼠狼捉住了,蝙蝠哀求讨饶。
鼠狼不答应,说它自己最爱和鸟类为敌。
蝙蝠便证明它自己不是鸟,只是一只老鼠,因此鼠狼就放了它。
不久这只蝙蝠又坠落到地上来,被另一只鼠狼捉住,它同样地哀求讨饶。
那鼠狼说它自己最恨老鼠,蝙蝠证明自己并不是老鼠,而是一只蝙蝠;
因此,它第二次又安然地逃离危险了。
随机应变乃聪明之举。
3.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇三 A RAVEN saw a Swan and desired to secure for himself the same beautiful plumage. Supposing that the Swan'
s splendid white color arose from his washing in the water in which he swam, the Raven left the altars in the neighborhood where he picked up his living, and took up residence in the lakes and pools. But cleansing his feathers as often as he would, he could not change their color, while through want of food he perished. 乌鸦非常羡慕天鹅洁白的羽毛。
他猜想天鹅一定是经常洗澡,羽毛才变得如此洁白无 瑕。
于是,他毅然离开了他赖以生存的祭坛,来到江湖边。
他天天洗刷自己的羽毛,不但一 点都没洗白,反而因缺少食物饥饿而死。
4.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇四 Mike is a little boy. He is only five years old. He is too small to go to school. So he can not read and write. One day he stood at my desk with a pencil in his hand. There was a big piece of paper on the desk. He wanted to draw a picture of himself. He drew lines and cleared them out, then drew more and cleared them out again. When I looked at the picture, he wasn'
t happy. "
Well,"
he said at last to me, "
I'
ll put a tail on it and make it a monkey."
He began to add the tail. I began to laugh. 翻译 迈克是一个小男孩,他只有5岁。
他太小还没有上学,因此也不会读和写。
一天,他手里拿着一支铅笔站在我的桌子前。
桌子上放着一张大纸,他要画自画像。
他画了几笔就擦掉了,再画几笔,有擦掉了。
当我看一幅画时,他很不高兴。
"
好吧,"
他最后和我说,"
我就再加一条尾巴,把他画成一只猴子吧!"
他开始加上小尾巴,我大笑起来。
5.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇五 There was a sturdy ram with a pair of thick horns upright on its head. It strutted about proudly and saw a fence built with bamboo and wood in front, which blocked its way. It cast a sidelong glance at the fence, lowered its neck and lunged at the fence, hoping to knock it down. The fence remained intact but the ram injured its own horns. If it had not injured its horns, the ram would have persisted obstinately in butting against the fence, even against the spokes of a wheel until it bled with a fractured skull. As a result, with its horns caught in the fence, the ram could neither advance nor retreat butbleat helplessly. 一头长得非常雄壮的公羊的头上,挺立着一对粗大的犄角。
公羊骄傲地踱着步,看见前面有一道竹木编成的篱笆挡住了它的去路。
公羊斜着眼睛看看,便弯下脖子呼的一声撞上去,想把篱笆撞倒。
结果篱笆纹丝不动,它反把自己的犄角碰伤了。
假如公羊没有碰伤犄角的话,那么它还会一个劲儿地撞下去,甚至向车轮的辐条上撞去,直到头破血流为止。
结果呢?公羊的犄角被篱笆夹住,进也不得,退也不得,只能“咩咩”不停地叫唤。
6.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇六 Making His Mark A man from the state of Chu was taking a boat across a river when he dropped his sword into the water carelessly. Immediately he made a mark on the side of the boat where the sword dropped, hoping to find it later. When the boat stopped moving, he went into the water to search for his sword at the place where he had marked the boat. As we know, the boat had moved but the sword had not. Isnt this a very foolish way to look for a sword? 楚国有个人坐船渡江时,他不小心把自己的一把宝剑掉落江中。
他马上掏出一把小刀,在宝剑落水的船舷上刻上一个记号。
船靠岸后,那楚人立即从船上刻记号的地方跳下水去捞取掉落的宝剑。
他怎么找得到宝剑呢?船继续行驶,而宝剑却不会再移动。
像他这样去找剑,真是太愚蠢可笑了。
7.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇七 A little rabbit is picking mushrooms in a forest. A wolf is coming. He is very hungry. “Oh, a little rabbit! This is my favourite food!” 一只小兔子正在森林里采蘑菇,一只狼来了,他很饿。
“哦,一只小兔子!这是我最喜欢的食物!” The rabbit sees the wolf, but she is not afraid. She pretends to be poisoned by the mushrooms. The wolf thinks, “If I eat her, I will be poisoned, too.” So he goes away. 小兔子看见了狼,但是她并不害怕。
她假装吃蘑菇中毒了。
狼想到:“如果我吃了她,我也会中毒的。
”所以他走开了。
Then the rabbit is very happy. She goes on picking the mushrooms. 小兔子非常高兴,她继续去采蘑菇。
8.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇八 Wolf and egret The wolf mistake swallowed a piece of bone, very suffered, running about, look for to visit the doctor everywhere。
He met the egret, and talk to settle the service fees to invite him to take out the bone, egret to stretch in the wolf'
s throat the own head, and the 叼 outs bone, then toward to settle the good service fees wolfThe wolf answer says:"
hello, friend, you can since the wolf 嘴 take back the head in the peace ground, and the difficult way return the dissatisfied foot, and how and still speak the guerdon?"
This story elucidation, guerdon badly person act charitably, and is a bad person of cognition and does not speak the reputation'
s innate character。
狼与鹭鸶 狼误吞下了一块骨头,十分难受,四处奔走,寻访医生。
他遇见了鹭鸶,谈定酬金请他取出骨头,鹭鸶把自我的头伸进狼的喉咙里,叼出了骨头,便向狼要定好的酬金。
狼回答说:“喂,朋友,你能从狼嘴里平安无事地收回头来,难道还不满足,怎样还要讲报酬?” 这故事说明,对坏人行善的报酬,就是认识坏人不讲信用的本质。
9.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇九 Standing on the roof of a small goat and the Wolf Kid standing on the roof and saw the Wolf walked through the bottom and then abuse him, and laughed at him. The Wolf said, "
oh, buddy, scold me is not you, but your terrain. "
This story to illustrate, dili and cat often give a person the courage to fight against the strong. 翻译:站在屋顶的小山羊与狼 小山羊站在屋顶上,看见狼从底下走过,便谩骂他,嘲笑他。
狼说道:“啊,伙计,骂我的不是你,而是你所处的地势。
” 这故事说明,地利与天机常常给人勇气去与强者抗争。
10.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇十 The Crow and The Pitcher A crow felt very thirsty. He looked for water everywhere. Finally, he found a pitcher. But there was not a lot of water in the pitcher. His beak could not reach it. He tried again and again, but still could not touch the water. When he was about to give up, an idea came to him. He took a pebble and dropped it into the pitcher. Then he took another and dropped it in. Gradually, the water rose, and the crow was able to drink the water. 口渴的乌鸦 一只乌鸦口渴了,到处找水喝。
终于,他找到了一个大水罐。
然而,水罐里面的水并不多,他的尖嘴够不到水面,他试了一次又一次,都没有成功。
就在他想放弃的时候,他突然想到一个主意。
乌鸦叼来了一块小石子投到水罐里,接着又叼了一块又一块石头放进去。
渐渐地,水面升高了。
乌鸦高兴地喝到了水。
寓意:有些东西虽然看起来微不足道,但如果积少成多,便会带来很大变化。
。
英语幽默故事小短文 英语幽默故事小短文一: Friend for Dinner "
Honey,"
said the husband to his wife, "
I invited a friend home for supper."
"
What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven'
t been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don'
t feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
"
I know all that."
"
Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"
Because the poor fool'
s thinking about getting married."
“
亲爱的,”
丈夫对妻子说:“
我邀请了一位朋友回家吃晚饭。
”
“
什么?你疯了吗?我们的房子乱糟糟的,我很久没有买过东西回来了,所有的碗碟都是脏的,还有,我可不想做一餐累死人的晚饭。
”
“
这些我全都知道。
”
“
那你为什么还要邀请朋友回来吃晚饭?”
“
因为那个可怜的笨蛋正考虑要结婚呢。
”
英语幽默故事小短文二: An Advertisement for Modern Bicycle Tom saw an advertisement in a newspaper for a beautiful modern bicycle which cost £
50, so he went to the shop to have a look. After examining the bicycle carefully, Tom turned to the shopkeeper and said, "
There isn'
t a lamp on this bicycle, but there was one on the bicycle in your advertisement."
"
Yes, sir,"
answered the shopkeeper, "
but the lamp isn'
t included in the price of the bicycle. It'
s an extra."
"
Not included in the price of bicycle?"
Tom said angrily, "
But that'
s not honest. If the lamp'
s in the advertisement, it should have been included in the price you gave there."
"
Well, sir,"
answered the shopkeeper calmly, "
there is also a girl on the bicycle in our advertisement, shall we supply one for you too?"
汤姆在报纸上看到一辆很漂亮的摩登自行车的广告,标价50英镑,于是他到商店去看一看。
汤姆很仔细地看完那辆自行车后,转过身对店主说:“
这辆自行车少了一盏灯,但在广告上的.自行车是有的。
”
“
是的,先生,”
店主回答说,“
但那盏灯不包括在自行车的价格里面,是另外收费的。
”
“
不包括在自行车价格里面?”
汤姆很生气,“
但这是不诚实的。
如果灯在广告上,它就应该包括在你所标出的价格之内。
”
“
嗯,先生,”
店主冷静地回答:“
在我们的自行车广告上还有一个女孩,难道我们也要为您提供一个吗?”
英语幽默故事小短文三: Ashamed Soldier Peter joined the army when he was eighteen, and for several months he was taught how to be a good soldier. He did quite well in everything except shooting. One day he and his friends were practicing their shooting, and all of them were doing quite well except Peter. After he had shot at the target nine times and had not hit it once, the officer who was trying to teach the young soldiers to shoot said, "
You'
re quite hopeless, Peter! Don'
t waste your last bullet too! Go behind that wall and shoot yourself with it!"
Peter felt ashamed. He went behind the wall, and a few seconds later the officer and the other young soldiers heard the sound of a shot. "
Heavens!"
the officer said. "
Has that silly man really shot himself?"
He ran behind the wall anxiously, but Peter was all right. "
I'
m sorry, sir,"
he said, "
but I missed again."
彼得十八岁那年参了军,他需要参加几个月的学习以成为一名好士兵。
彼得在其他方面都做得很好,但是射击不行。
一天他和伙伴们练习射击,除了彼得其他人都没有问题。
他射了九次,一次也没有命中目标。
这时,教新兵射击的教官说:“
彼得,你看来是没希望了,不要连最后一发子弹都浪费掉!去那堵墙后面用它向自己打一枪吧。
”
彼得感到非常惭愧。
他走到那堵墙后面。
几分钟后,教官和新兵们听到一声枪响。
“
上帝!”
教官叫起来,“
难道那个笨蛋真的朝自己开枪了?”
他急忙跑到那堵墙后面,发现彼得安然无恙。
“
对不起,长官,”
他说,“
我还是没有命中。
”
;
。
英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下: Midway Tactics Three peting store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "
Gigantic Sale!"
and "
Super Bargains!"
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "
Prices Slashed!"
and "
Fantastic Discounts!"
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "
ENTRANCE"
. 中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。
旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌,上书:“大减价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌,声称:“大砍价!”“大折扣!” 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌,上面只简单地写着:“入口处”。
Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "
I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other."
Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months. Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England. Joan went there and said to the matron, "
I‘ve e to visit Captain Humphreys."
"
Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here,"
the matron said. "
Oh, that‘s all right,"
answered Joan. "
I‘m his sister."
"
I‘m very pleased to meet you,"
the matron said, "
I‘m his mother!"
在第二次世界大战中,有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。
琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。
她在一个大军营中工作,当然遇到了许多男士,包括军官和士兵。
一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。
他对她说,“我明天就要出国,但如果我们能够相互写信,我会。
”琼同意了,于是他们几个月里一直通着信。
后来,他再没有来信。
她收到了另一个军官的信,告诉她,他受伤了,住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。
琼到了医院,她对护士长说,“我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。
” “这里只有亲属可以探望病人。
”护士长说。
“噢,是的,”琼说,“我是他的妹妹。
” “认识你,”护士长说,“我是他的母亲。
” Two Soldiers Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was Gee, and the second one‘s name was Bill. Gee said, "
have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"
Bill said, "
Yes, I have,"
and he gave them to him. Then Gee said, "
Now I haven‘t got a pen."
Bill gave him his, and Gee wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "
have you got a stamp, Bill?"
Bill gave him one. Then Bill got up and went to the door, so Gee said to him, "
Are you going out?"
Bill Said, "
Yes, I am,"
and he opened the door. Gee said, "
Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..."
He stopped. "
What do you want now?"
Bill said to him. Gee looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "
What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?"
军营里有二名士兵,一个叫乔治,一个叫比尔。
乔治问:“比尔,你有信纸、信封吗?” 比尔说:“有。
”然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。
乔治又说:“我还没有笔呢。
”比尔又把自己的笔给了他。
乔治开始写信。
写完后把信放进信封里,又问:“比尔,你有邮票吗?”比尔给了他一张。
这时比尔站起来,向门口走去。
乔治问:“你要出去吗?” 比尔说:“是的。
”随即打开了门。
乔治说:“请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里,还有...”他停住了。
“你还要什么?”比尔问。
乔治看着信封说:“你女朋友的地址是-?” 。
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